Do you have a smelly personality? That is not a question that is asked in polite company, is it? It’s possible that you may have certain traits or interests that make you more susceptible to stank. You wouldn’t knowingly want to offend anyone by being too funked out. If people are starting to avoid you for no good reason, your B.O. may be to blame. Check out this list of the 10 smelliest personality types to see if you (or someone you know) made the list.
The smelly personalities here are ranked according to the level of P.U. factor they inflict on the people around them. The more discomfort they have the potential to cause to others with their level of stankiness, the higher they placed on our completely unscientific scale. Do you agree with our assessment? Check out our findings below:
10 Smelliest Personality Types
10 Old People
If you live long enough, you will experience Old People smell first hand. Unfortunately, by this point your own sense of smell will likely have deteriorated a bit. You won’t be able to realize that you fall into this category. The irony is that no one thinks they have the stale scent that is Old People smell. If your friends tell you that you do, please believe them.
9 Tree Hugger
If you are a Tree Hugger, it doesn’t necessarily mean are totally living in Stinkville. While you may have decided to forego using commercial deodorant, you may be using alum crystal products instead. (At least, we hope you are.) You may see sweating as a natural detoxification method. The rest of us know that not everything that is natural smells good.
If you are an Athlete, you know all about giving your all for your sport. This includes breaking a sweat, and sweat stinks. If you want to be known as a force to be reckoned with in any type of sport, you need to push yourself to go “faster, higher, stronger.” Embrace your own stankiness and be the athlete you were meant to be. If you can’t be an athlete, you can always be an athletic supporter.
If you are a Camper, you are drawn to the Great Outdoors. Roughing it in the bush gets your adrenalin going. The issue with that as far as stink is concerned is that you are probably in touch with your Inner Mountain Man (or Woman), too. Personal hygiene is for sissies, and you want to have the full experience of getting close to nature. Your personal nature in the form of stank packs quite a punch, too, so you will need to hit the shower if you want to assimilate back into civilized society.
6 Pot Head
If you are a Pot Head, read this slowly. (There is a reason they call the stuff dope.) You and your clothing will give off the same sickly sweet smell as the Mary Jane you enjoy puffing away on. The stuff will also stick to your hair. You may want to think about that the next time you light up a J.
5 Sex Addict
If you’re a sex addict, you do more than your fair share of thinking about this most personal of bodily functions. It made our stinky personality list for a couple of reasons. For one thing, you are spending an inordinate amount of time having sex (either alone or with a partner). We figure this means you are more inclined to be sweaty than the average Joe or Jane. The second reason has to do with the funky bodily fluids you will be exposed to because of your addiction. Nuff said.
4 Chain Smoker
If you are a Chain Smoker, you already know that nicotine is harmful to your health. The smell from tobacco is another harmful issue. It clings to your hair, clothing and breath like an annoying little sister when you are trying to impress a hot date. If you light up at home, the smoke can stink up your furniture. You have the potential to be surrounded by a wall of self-created tar and nicotine gas. Nice, huh?
3 Perfume Addict
If you are a Perfume Addict, you have an issue with smelling like a human being. Rather than embracing your natural perfumes (or lack thereof), you try to embellish it by adding fragrance. In some cases, you may throw on multiple layers of perfumed products before you leave the house in the morning in an effort to look attractive. A cloud of sweet stank is still stank, my friend. Your friends probably won’t care enough to tell you, but you aren’t doing yourself any favors by bathing in the stuff.
If you are a Slob, your lack of self-esteem may be at the root of your slovenly appearance and your stank issues. You may also simply not know the basics of personal hygiene. Some people may not realize how badly their home-grown man or woman-stank smells (if you can believe it). The good news is that Slob-ism may not be a permanent condition. This may only be a passing phase for some people.
If you are a Hoarder, you have a compulsion to acquire stuff. You may focus on household items, collectibles, or animals. When you can’t bear to throw anything out, stuff is going to build up in your house. Not only will your “collection” end up being the cause of stank in your crib, but you will find it hard to keep yourself clean. For these reasons, Hoarder gets the dubious honor of the No. 1 spot on our list of the Smelliest Personality Types.